Is there a perfect age gap between siblings?
Scrolling through Facebook I see a pregnancy announcement. This makes the 4th mama I know with a child around Spike's age either pregnant or just having had a baby. Don't get me wrong I'm over the moon all these mamas. But there is no second baba on the way here, despite me always thinking there was a perfect age gap between siblings.
I grew up as the youngest of three. With a brother 3 years older and a sister a year old than that. I used to hate the age difference between us. When I was little, they both seemed too old to play. All our family photos either had them two together or the three of us and I felt like the afterthought. I hated being the third and wished I only had 1 sibling (usually my sister) frequently. I always thought I would have 2 children and thought I'd want them no more than 2 years apart so they could be the best of friends.
How naive I was.
Spike is now 2 so that 'perfect' age gap is impossible. Even if I got pregnant today, there would be 2 years 10 months between them. That seemed too much when I was growing up.
As a child if you'd have asked me what kids I wanted when I grew up I had it clear. I wanted a girl then a boy. 2 years apart. To be best friends.
As an adult I know the reality of the situation. Spike has a brother. A half brother, with a 15 year age difference. So I technically got a boy and a girl. However if we were to have another, closer in age who is around 24/7, I know the truth. They would never be best friends. The arguments would be horrific no matter how close together were in age. And the idea of another baby right now? I think I'd have to leave home.
Spike has gone into the terrible twos with a bang (usually literally). She throws the biggest tantrums and wants her dummy all the time. though she is sleeping a little better at the minute, that just means I'm in her room at least once in the night convincing her that going back to sleep in her own bed is best for all of us.
She can't share, she hates anyone giving attention to anything that isn't her. And if me and T even try and cuddle we get a smack. So she would NOT respond well to another baby in the house.
She is starting to be really gentle and think about things. She's stopped putting blankets over her dolls heads and covering where their mouths are to make them 'sleep'. She has also become aware that she is not a baby. And that babies are babies, who need loving and carrying and caring for.
Its so sweet to see her around babies. And playing 'mummy' with her dolls. But a doll is another thing. As is holding a cute little baby who can be given back to its mummy. She wouldn't be like that if one was around 24/7.
Though she has started saying she wants a baby sister. She is obsessed with playing mummy. And she loves her dolls. With others' around us having babies who she will see more and more, I know that she'll be asking more. She's gunna be disappointed!
At least she's got her big brother and her cousins to love. Her cousins have a 6 year age gap between them. And while they don't get on too well, she loves them both so much. Her cousin F is only 10 months older than her but things can even be tense between the two of them sometimes. Especially when Grandma is around!
So what do you think? Do you think there is a perfect age gap? Or should we just stick to one and keep things a little simpler?!