Me and T on a walk at Arnside Knott, and on our maternity bump to baby photoshoot 6 years ago
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Almosts and what ifs – 12 years on

Do you ever wonder ‘what if?’ I do, I love finding those little ‘almost’ moments that might have resulted in something completely different. T is the same. If something goes wrong and we leave the house late, he’ll even say that maybe its stopped us being involved in something scary on the motorway. He was about 20 seconds behind a pile up on the M6 last week and that shook him too, thinking about the what ifs.

What if I hadn’t moved….

Today, me and T have been together 12 years and there are so many what if’s about our story. We met on a random night out in Preston, 2 days after Christmas. I had moved to the city in the September before because I wasn’t having a good time at my first choice uni. I switched after my first year, going straight into second year at UCLAN. I could have chosen a different uni, I could have stayed put or dropped out all together. Thats the usual route for people who don’t like uni. But I chose to look for somewhere new.

What if River Island didn’t want me…

My time at UCLAN was awesome, but one of the things that did suck a little was the fact that I needed a job. My parents at the time lived abroad and I wasn’t entitled to a good loan. I had to get a job to survive. I had 3 in York during my first year! I applied for everything I could as soon as I knew I was moving. I eventually got a Christmas temp job at River Island which meant staying in Preston alone over Christmas. That was the only reason I didn’t go back to stay with my sister for the holidays.

What if they hadn’t wanted a night out…

While working on the 27th December 2008 I got messages off two friends who had gone home for the holidays to say they were bored and wanted to come back to uni for a night out. They only lived a short train journey away and could make it out for when I finished work. I jumped at the chance of seeing my friends and enjoying a night out with them. They jumped on the train while I finished work and later to their flat armed with two bottles of Russian Standard vodka.

The rest is history….

The vodka flowed and then we visited what was my favourite night club, The Warehouse. A dingy but awesome rock club on the edge of town. That night a very cool looking guy started dancing with me and the rest is history. He had a babysitter and ended up coming out with some friends. Which wasn’t always the case on a Saturday night. I happened to have friends who were bored, otherwise I’d never have gone out alone. Also The Warehouse a Saturday night was always way more expensive because it wasn’t a student night.

A whole other story

Of course what ifs and almost’s can often be considered bad things. Or used when bad things happen, or people are in bad situations. But I think our what ifs result in good things sometimes. That they aren’t things that you should always look at in a negative light. There are little choices we make in life that guide our way no matter which way that it. Everything doesn’t happen for a reason as such, but your choices definitely have an influence on your life later.