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Grey hairs, fitness levels and a strange year – How I feel about turning 32

I don’t usually post about my own birthday unless its to talk about what we got up to after the event. But this year I wanted to. I wanted to share how I’m feeling on this very strange day in August 2020.

Grey hairs

My family is a family of young greys. So I didn’t really expect anything other than grey hair from my 30s. I have dyed my hair since I was 13 and its not a problem to continue doing so. But I recently realised that I’m now struggling to keep on top of them. They sprout up from nowhere and are pure white more than grey. I guess I should be lucky that with a bit of a brush forward I can cover them… others in my family aren’t so lucky! Maybe it’s time to embrace it though? Who knows?

My body and health

I started dancing two years ago then moved on to hoop last year to improve my fitness levels. After 32 years I’ve finally learnt to say ‘who the f*ck cares’ about how I look. I actually don’t care about that, or what the scales say. Which is a big thing for me. But my fitness levels are a different matter. I’m so glad I started hoop and am doing yoga every day as its definitely helped. I love that I feel like I could go out for a run and not die, which is definitely a better position than I was in when I turned 30!

My 31st year

When I think about my life, I think of years as my years, not the calendar year. My birthday is fairly central in that and when I was younger it always marked the change from one school year to the next. 31 has been a very strange year for me. It started off amazingly as I spent the day last year picking up the keys for our new house. Strange to think we’ve been here a year already. But it has been very up and down. Not long after, my birthday, my grandad died which hit me hard. I’ve always been very close to my dad’s side of the family and he was a stable in my life. Spike still asks where the old man who sits in the chair next to old Nana is. It breaks my heart. Nearly a year old I still forget that he won’t be there when we visit my Nana and I miss him terribly. We spent a lot of the end of last year with friends and family as much as possible. But seeing my family isn’t as easy as seeing T’s as they are further away.

This year… as in the one that all went to sh*t

Of course then the year turned and everyone was so excited for 2020. I honestly thought it was going to be a whole new year. And it has been. We booked a hotel to Disneyland Paris in October. Which has now been cancelled. We booked our trip to Mexico next February… which we have no idea if will go ahead. We celebrated T’s birthday while he was hungover and he vowed never to drink again, only for pubs to be shut the next month. Though to be honest. With everything that has happened in my 31st year, I’ve been reminded of how important family is. Of how the time you spend doing things that don’t make you happy has an impact on the time you spend with those people you love. And it’s steered the way for change.

My plans for my 32nd year

32 sounds old to me. I thought I would have life sussed by 32. I don’t, but that’s ok. However, this year is the year I want to make all the positive changes I’ve been scared to do for the past 20 years! And the year I’m not going to be ashamed or being me, the kind of person who wants to hug huge trees because they have been on our planet for such a long time.