I love my partner. He works hard. Supports our family. Makes me laugh like no other. We have been together for nine amazing years. Have made a beautiful daughter together. We drive each other crazy. But love each other dearly. Yet none of that will ever, ever make me celebrate Valentine’s Day with him.
We celebrated Valentine’s Day when we had first got together. We went out to Frankie and Benny’s and ate off their set menu. It was poncy. They had tried to make everything ‘perfect’ and we felt out of place. It was also stupidly expensive and was full of other try hard couples that we just had to laugh about. Since then we decided that Valentine’s Day wasn’t for us.
I know the day itself derives from the story of St Valentine. But I am in no way religious, despite haven’t religion forced upon me in Primary School. I hate the idea that I must be romantic on a single day in February, when I can choose to show my love and appreciation any day of the year.
In all honesty I see Valentine’s Day as a way for the card manufacturers and shops to sell more things to us in the hopes that we make them more money. Its a way of them saying “You’ll be sorry if you don’t conform and get your partner exactly what they want!” and it is terrifying when you are in the first months of a relationship and haven’t got to the comfortable point where you can laugh together about the fact you simply don’t “do” Valentine’s Day.
I will always, and have always maintained that the most romantic thing T has ever done for me is turn up on my doorstep with a Dream chocolate bar. White chocolate is my fave. He has also done some really sweet things like sub me £20 to go out with friends when I’ve had no money, surprised me with little gifts that have meaning and treated me to days out when I’ve been feeling down.
Both T and I struggle when we feel we should do something because other people are making us. We’ve stopped putting so much pressure on each other for birthdays and Christmas because its easier if we don’t. (With the exception of my 30th this year which I’m hoping he makes special!) We know that one silly day doesn’t score our love for one another. The silliness we can have with each other every other day is what does.